Gentlemen, due to a slight error by myself, Roller Boots, I have deleted the 5 previous comments on this post. My sincere apologies for this, I'm sure you will soon fill in the gaps!
Roller Boots to be honest it's not exceptable, we are ment to be creating banta, not deleting it when people start using it.
I can only put this down to a school boy error, possibly related to the excitment of going away in september, unlike myself who will not be attending. I did however attempt a game this morning but the weather ment the course was shut. Driving range it was and let me just tell you it was tight.
A little bit of news for the BGS obviously it will not get mentioned to the bloke in question as i was told in the strickest confidence. The reason why Lee Vikers did not attend the BGS QUIZ night was bacause his misses told him, yes told him (not asked, told)he had to go shopping up Merry Hill. Now as mentioned above i don't want this mentioning to a single sole.
On other news caled all BGO members please give Pete Stokes a huge round of aplause as he has finally paid his 30p back.
on other business myself and the rest of the BGS would like to wish Andy Sherma a speedy recovery, from the lamping SD'vey gave him when he licked him all round the wergs at BGO 9.
Firstly, may I address the German's comments about school boy errors....you are correct in the fact I deleted said comments....I am however unaware as to how I mananged this as I only attempted to delete an image....anyway, hands up to it I f***** up. Secondly, talking of schoolboys....where did you learn to spell and what grammer classes did you attend.....? Tut Tut On the subject of the Wergs....top marks to everyone for making it a day to remember....I'm still flabbergasted at the Indian's defeat by the French man....I think possible random drug testing should be introduced as said French man's levels of performance are far above par on the day....(As a foot note that was a joke)
Guys, lets start some banter here....D'vey....what have you to say?
I think the previous "tree bummer" offering to lube up Dwyer's tits should come out.....or is just a smoke screen by a closet homosexual....More questions are mounting up....people are showing their true tendencies..... I agree...Brendon done well at the crown on the mic....did I hear "all the 2's....22!"
Damn, you bloggers have been busy! maybe your not all computer illiterate after all.
I Asked the DJ Legend Jason Yorke for a few tips on the mike and he came throgh with the goods.
To Reference the point about Dwyers tits, it hadn't crossed my mind to lube them up but whatever floats your boat. (Gaylord!)
While we are on tits Neil Lee told me that its not the first time his name and moobs have been used in the same sentence. Apparantly he was fondled by a lesbian at Vee Festival, maybe we should have a BGO Wet t-shirt competition at the next fundraiser?
Which brings me on to the absence of Lee Vickers at the quiz night. I thought Vick was a man with cahoona's but obviously a bummer like German Ben Crout Scotsman Adam McShermer. Here boy walkies!!!
No one told me Senior Pro Wildman had arranged for waiting on staff at the quiz. I thought Stu (Our Ashley) Barker had come for an interview for a bar job.
If anyone sees Jacket holder Wacka apparantly he's had the jacket on since he won it! Tell him he's a F*ck*n W*nk**r! and buy some new clothes.
Oh yea and ask him if his Mrs knows he plays Golf. If he says yes ask him why he has got a golf clothes warderobe in the back of his work van.
Speaking of wardrobes, the RONFam appear is gathering pace another bag was dropped outside my house this morning. Contents included hat with fan and solar pannel, 2 pair of y-fronts and a deer costume!
I had a report that mr Potato head Mark Thomas was spotted in tipton shouting randomly, Cheeky Fiver! Cheeky Fiver! at people.
Id like to inform the committee, of a little comment by the legendary scholar himself Andy Shamir (not a typo). whilst playing a round on saturday morning his driving became a little eratic." I think i need a bigger head" he anounced " Too f**kn right you do" i kid you not this BLOKE should be on stage.
Tunass why am i referred to as MR Potato head? when i am by far the best looking bloke on the BGO tour?
I think we should also at this time of year with SPORT RELIEF in our headlines, be thinking of those less fortunate than ourselves.Those poor soles with no golf clothes, no clubs, not even a glove to call their own. please lads dig deep, find it in your hearts to support RONFAM. for less than a pint of beer, Ron Meese could look the bollox at the belfry, you know how much it would mean to all of us.
To be honest not sure why I’m even writing this message as “the bingo caller” Roller boots will more than likely delete it. Anyway moving on, comments about Andy Sherma’s head have been raised again, to be honest he does need a big head, but his driver is big enough. What we need to bear in mind is that over the past few weeks the “wind” has been stronger than normal; perhaps this could have been getting hold of his licks. Also the claims that Mark “coach (52 seater)” Thomas has been walking around his native home land (Tipton) shouting “cheeky fiver” I can confirm are true. Rod, I’m still alive and kicking and I’m not ignoring you, in reference to the swindon membership fees I will have more details tomorrow pm, with costs. What it’s looking like at the moment is 200 pound joining fee, however 100 pound is put back on your bar card to spend in the club house, plus the cost of joining I believe 600 pounds although I will confirm. Could all people interested in joining Swindon please tell either myself or brendon, the more that join the better the deal. Chris please don’t delete, edit function not delete.
Mr Thomas, I am never suprised at any comment, quotes or banta that derive from the Little headed one. I concure with the comment that the man should be in stand-up! "Blokes.....If he was in stand up the laughs would be on us"
In reference to your point about being the best looking, I would have to disagree. Dave (div) Perceval has my vote after last weekends escapades if you need that seconding or further info speak to the ginger nuisance.
If recognition is what you are after, we love what you did to your hair, the highlights match your eyes! Bummer!!!
RONFam update: 1 pringle sock delivered 18/3/08. 23 days to go!
By the way congratulations to Jay the Croot not only has be learned to use his keyboard but he has voluntarily involved himself in a conversation.
thanx for reply ben (green keeper) kraut . your gaffer says you,ve made a lovely job of his lawns. did you use the old BGO jacket for your little chat? while he had his arm round ya!
Questions,questions questions? has Dvey got something stuck in his throat? does Ben "JCB" crout have only shovels in his bag? Has Jay been invited to the Belfry? Has Wacka been dressing from Ronnie Meeses wardrobe? Who was that chap playing with Bren & Tommo yesterday? And can i remind all players that when accompannying Andy Shamir on the golf course to bring either a notebook and pen or a dictaphone as too many quotes are slipping through the net, regards ANON
Boys, I've just come across (pardon the pun) your fantastic web site. I am a 25 year old 8 inch cut male seaking some of this tree bumming expriences, can anyone join in, please your Gordon
Oh and i'm not racist so the one they call the little headed indian, i bet he's got a small tight mouth, the scotsman oooh i love a big scottish hairy ginger length, I also love blondes with beutiful blue eyes. I am also available to lube up the one they call Dwyer's tits at no charge.RONFAM i've got a lovely shiffon scarf (cerise) to donate to said cause.That Jay sounds like a right man's man.ps I can rollerskate as well so all angles are covered. please RSVP.
Just reading through some of the banta, quality, Flashes brother has some good banta "gay Gordon" it appears as though he has attached himself to certain members of the BGS. Indian Sharma has a tight mouth!!
Anyway, just a couple of questions need answering:
Yes, D'vey does have something stuck in his throat, possibly a bad taste.
Yes, I'm currently using shovels and spades to get round courses, although I did have my best round the other day whilst playing with Andy, shooting a respectable 96. I'll take those all day.
Is Jay Croot coming to the Belfry, Probably not if Bren has organized it, because for some reason Jay never get's an invite, hence the move to PENN and mention of the "click"
The bloke who played golf with us the other day, I have no idea, the only thing I can say is that he seem Scottish and a little bit Gay, perhaps "Gay Gordon’s" name was Gay McGordon, then he would stand a chance with the Scottish one.
All players with Andy Sherma need a dictaphone, as that would be some serious paper used to write all his comments down. Can I just say at this point I had the pleasure of the CHURCHILL Dog's company yesterday and I must say it did make my day.
Can I also say fair play to "DIV" for getting into Leanne whilst Ste "nuisance" Richards looked on not capable of a response due to BEER tokens. Can I just say at this point I'm surprised Ste didn't tell "DIV" to stand down, because what a lot of people will not know is that Ste "stand Down" Richards normally tells everyone to stand down from the women he's with, because he's small, ginger and insecure. What he doesn't realize is that the women actually want our help, as he wears them down and they end up giving in and having sex with him!!
On other business a rumor and I stress rumor, HOUSE has been involved with a woman. Could the right honorable HOUSE please comment on the above taking into account he’s got some KEYS and BALLY no longer has the CROWN / SKY TV?
Ooooooh Blond, 96 eh, that's close to a 69 big boy. D'vey would have something stuck in his throat if i had my way! Cheeky fiver it'll cost more than that !
Well actually, I've been known to sit on a few laps at the park but which one would be telling now wouldn't it. Reading through this blog i think there's a few lads on here have done this also, come out lads and feel liberated. p.s That Bren looks well fit in them Nike trousers, the way he sticks out his pert little arse, when he's just about to let rip can't wait for the next bgs. love Gordon
I think a dry bumming is coming your way son !Why doesn't any one leave their names so we can get to know each other, can any one play golf, because i would like to meet up, some of you guys are WELL FIT !!! I thought you all lived around bradley so why do play at swindon it must take you hours to get there?
Where do I start? Jay the Croot, work life balance thats what its all about bloke! If you had a propa job like Ben, Thomo and myself you may also be able to play golf for £1.23per round and get midweek invites.
You might even get a job down at Swindon like your brother. When I arrived last week Blondie was nose deep in General Manager Simon's arse. Gay Gord you would have loved it! Shit everywhere!
I don't know what he did for Simon but blondie told me later that his membership had been reduced by £200quid. Must be good. how much did he say you had to pay Rod?
In answer to the question about the whereabouts of the old BGO Jacket. Blondie could not wear it as Ron (Gummidge) Meese has aquired it.
The News is that Blondie has cancelled the contractors for his house extension. He has decided to dig the footings himself with his pitching wedge and sand iron!
If that doesn't happen his brother Jay said he'll make a start cos he loves working and hasn't been invited to the Belfrey and ay got no mates to play with at his new club Penn.
On that note I have a few questions.
Who inflated Wacka's face?
Why does Andy Sharma wobble his head?
Does Gay Gordon chip or putt from the rough?
Can Roller Boots Rollerskate?
Is ginge bothered that Div took a slice of his carrot cake?
Does Gay gord know the difference between nike and Farah?
Does Thomo really look like Mr Potato Head?
Is blondie having Rod's pants down and a comission from his membership at swindon?
Too many questions man, right 1, Very bad photographer with shit camera. 2,it's the indian in him 3, Putt defo 4, NO 5, of course 6, I don't know about gord, but one's the bionic woman and the other is that swooshy thing that thommo gets his mrs to sew onto his clothes 7, yes 8, he should !
ps As defending jacket holder i'm a little upset that i'm only on the drop out list for the belfry !!!!!
yes gentleman i have indeed got a red face, and the only thing that got stuck in my throat was the 12 celebratory beverages i fired down me after winning at sapey. such a joy.... anyway whats this about house putting it about? and has everyone forgot im a member at swindon as well or should i just take the hint....by the way as i said to moppa about six years ago and he still reminds me. YOUR ALL A BUNCH OF WANKERS.....
Wacka its crooty if you want to play the Belfry you can have my place mate.Due to havin a real job with real comitments dont think i can play.Anyway still waitin for an invite from B.G.O. Brenass.Its tough being at the bottom of the pile.Cant wait to join penn.......
Just a quick note this evening as i sit at home all alone, knowing that BGO Brenass has arrange to go out with all the other lads but failed to invite me(blondie)!! Just wanted to say thanks bummer.
why are you all alone again? Has the mrs gone out on the lash with the lads.
Anyway me thinks you need to spend any spare time you may have down the range, they need a new bunker digging out!
I thought it was Jay Croot who was into earth excavation and you IT. obviousley from Big Jays comments on the blog and your new swing you've had a role reversal.
Now sufficient BGO proper members have dropped out of the Belfry, im now invited, great its nice to feel valued,
i shall pay my subscription in weekly installmants as my membership at swindon has gone up to pay for special deals negotiated by members to be left unnamed. Blonde,
afterall i know your struggling on your salary!!!!!! need some cheeky fivers coming my way.
lads, a few questions 1. will tunass be practising his speech before the belfry 2. will blonde play to his potential 3. has french man been having lessons 4. has woko got extra fat grips 5. will mark 'the shark' thomas continue in top form 6. has anyone seen the pic of 'the tits' gettin bummed by a tree?
Never mind whos Gay Gordon, Whos Anonymous?, he seems to be very busy on here. Blonde all i can say is HES a f*kin W*nker!!! twice this week you av let me down, so you can go home to the MRS and she can go out on the lash.. its no good son, your swing has gone to shit and you am doing nothing to rectify it. I am officially resigning as your coach!!! Good news for GAY GORDON, if your interested in joining Swindon theres a 35% reduction for 25 year olds. Also Gay Gordon , whats your favorite club, putter, driver, chipper.? and av you been invited to the Belfry? if so will you come out on the first tee? Im sure there will be lots of boys who would like to meet you. Anyway if any swindon boys fancy a game tommorow morning about 10- 10.30ish. get in touch. cheeky fiver anyone?
I hear on the grapevine that Tipton Tatter Thomo has been uncontrolably shitting himself for the past two weeks.
I hear that he had to throw his pants away last week following a round at Swindon.
This raises a number of questions?
Has his bumhole gone in a little premature of the belfrey?
Does he want to be a ferral shitter like Sharma?
Is it a distraction for his fellow players?
Why didn't he use a swindon rule book to wipe his arse?
Do Sharma's one liners and unconcious stand up comedy make you lose bum control?
Maybe Thomo should see a doctor?
If anyone knows the song maybe you could add a line or two for Thomo.
"Some people think its funny when its all nice and runny,diarrhoea, diarrhoea." "I was bumming up a tree and it trickled down my knee, diarrhoea, diarrhoea." ...................
I can concur mate, having played swindon with him and the little headed indian saturday, following the round we went into the changing rooms where the tipton slasher legs it into trap number 2, me and said indian, washing hands,hears a massive thud and whoosh from trap 2, quote from indian" there aint a lot of that hit the water" Quality.
Whats all this talk of shit.I know most of the players in the B.G.S.all talk aload of shit,my self excluded of coarse.Lookin forward to my round of golf at swindon on sunday ive actually had an invite from BRENNA the bummer.Any way lads i played himley last sunday and took only 41shots over 9 holes.Lads its par 36 just a warning for every one goin to the belfrey.Your all bummers
They say if you throw enough shit ,it will stick...this is a load of bollox ..ive been throwing shit everywhere and can confirm..none of it ay stuck...Ive only left the bog seat for a couple of cheeky fivers and am present writing this via my laptop sat on the bog!!!
if anyones interested ive been to the quacks.. he can confirm in his official capacity. i have got the shits? no shit sherlock. well actually yes lots of shit, everywhere.
does anyone know where i can get a mansize nappy?
anyone playing swindon with me in the upcoming weeks should remember to bring (a)roll of bog paper.(b)copy of the sun.(c)some sudacream for soothness.(d)a little sympathy.
If Gay Gordon want to take a look at this battered arseole, im sure he would turn straight.
anyway lads thanks for the kind words, the flowers, the fruit ( like i need any help ) you bunch of bastards.
No problem in reference to toilet paper, the sun and sudacream(gay gordon can rub it in), sympathy on the other hand not a chance.
Anyway, it was suggested that a little light humour may put a smile back on one's face.
Oh and just for reference i'm writing this sitting on the chair in the living room, after just eatin a chincky, because i'm not sure if i've mentioned it but I'VE NOT GOT THE SHIT's
RONFAM appeal,it all seems abit of a CON.Ron was seen last night down bilston on the lash,so money isnt the problem.I think that ron doesnt really give a flyin fuck what he looks like,because last night he looked like a fuckin vaigrant......CHAP CHAP CHAP.
Saturday I was lucky enough to have the pleasure of being invited to a birthday party on Saturday evening. At that Party was a gentleman by the name of Andy Sherma. Let me just tell you that this man’s talents do not stop at one line comments, oh no no no no. Andy Sherma is possibly one of the whites black men I have ever seen on the dance. I will try to paint the picture for you. I glanced over to see, an open colored, head nodding, face pulling, massive clapping, shoulder shrugging, feet a moving white gentleman going by the name of Sherma. Some of the dance moves were a little remonstrant of the Jackson 5, however when the Motown kicked in the Sherma turned it up a notch or 2 and came into the middle of the clapping circle, with what can only be described as MASSIVE, MASSIVE low claps, he was clapping that hard, it was hurting my hands, he did a turn or 2 and then moved back out of the circle. Quality, Quality Night S’devy, from yesterday’s performance son at Swindon, you need to get some practice in 5 off the tee on the 11th isn’t going to cut it come the 11th. I have faith though and I know you will turn up with you’re A game. Remember pressure is for tires. Bren you’re a bummer Chris just thought I would say hello since you have been ignoring us since you had your new job. Tunass can we pencil a talk in with Chris about work / life balance.
where did Chap get those aviator sunglasses from? was it the RONFAM appeal basket?
Does Tunass stick his arse out, so blondie can blow smoke up it?
has gay gordon given me HIV, I feel so fuckin ill?
Can someone ask Mcshermers new wife!! if he can play golf a week on friday?
has Jay got a job?
Is everybody still in the matchplay event going to the Belfry? if so can we continue the comp there?I dont know how long i have left and need to get everything sorted before i go.
If you won a prize on a society event but you knew they had fucked up your handicap in your favour thus giving you more shots than you should have had. would you be able to look yourself in the fuckin mirror every morning. Rob Fuckin Walker!!!!!!!!!!!
Blonde im more 12 seater minibus at the moment,and my nose aint big, its in proportion to the rest of my head, ive just got a fucking big head!!
same goes for me mate the sherminator, he aint got a little head, just a massive body.
Rob "de bank" walker has fitted the trophy cabinet in the clubhouse today. its amazing what you can do with some old MFI wardrobes.hes negotiated free green fees for life and the next captaincy.he has no shame!!!!
ive had blood tests today, they're testing for TB,VD,BSE,IBS,YTS,HIV,CD,DVD,CJD,PC,IT,IQ,DQ,PMT,DVT,PMS,HRT,TLC,FAQ,BLUETONGUE,AVIAN FLU,FOOT & MOUTH,AND golfers elbow.
i shall be attempting to play a round wednesday afternoon, arseole permitting, if your interested tunass,blonde,jay(cant forget jay he gets all upset)+sherma.
My my.....you bummers have been busy tearing shreds off each other! I love it. I see the little Indian one is still a favorite target....the toilet episode with the accompanying songs was....well, Frankly SHIT! Ben.... Yes, I have been absent from here but with regards to me ignoring you? When have you actually spoken to me? When waqs invited for a round with a cheeky fiver?......Hummm you see where I'm coming from...and yes I have been settling into a new position of employement and yes I have been issuing plenty of emails...PLENTY...Lol ps: as a foot note....My golf has fell off the shelf and is tumbling fast....Belfry will not be a very enjoyable experience if this is how I'm playing.
57 comments:
Gentlemen, due to a slight error by myself, Roller Boots, I have deleted the 5 previous comments on this post. My sincere apologies for this, I'm sure you will soon fill in the gaps!
Roller Boots to be honest it's not exceptable, we are ment to be creating banta, not deleting it when people start using it.
I can only put this down to a school boy error, possibly related to the excitment of going away in september, unlike myself who will not be attending. I did however attempt a game this morning but the weather ment the course was shut. Driving range it was and let me just tell you it was tight.
A little bit of news for the BGS obviously it will not get mentioned to the bloke in question as i was told in the strickest confidence. The reason why Lee Vikers did not attend the BGS QUIZ night was bacause his misses told him, yes told him (not asked, told)he had to go shopping up Merry Hill. Now as mentioned above i don't want this mentioning to a single sole.
On other news caled all BGO members please give Pete Stokes a huge round of aplause as he has finally paid his 30p back.
on other business myself and the rest of the BGS would like to wish Andy Sherma a speedy recovery, from the lamping SD'vey gave him when he licked him all round the wergs at BGO 9.
on that note gentlemen
until the next time
Firstly, may I address the German's comments about school boy errors....you are correct in the fact I deleted said comments....I am however unaware as to how I mananged this as I only attempted to delete an image....anyway, hands up to it I f***** up. Secondly, talking of schoolboys....where did you learn to spell and what grammer classes did you attend.....? Tut Tut
On the subject of the Wergs....top marks to everyone for making it a day to remember....I'm still flabbergasted at the Indian's defeat by the French man....I think possible random drug testing should be introduced as said French man's levels of performance are far above par on the day....(As a foot note that was a joke)
Guys, lets start some banter here....D'vey....what have you to say?
Rollerboots
tell the frenchmen we will have to check his ultra-violet levels before he tees off next time
as a previous tree bummer i would like to offer to lube up dwyers golfing nipples. in public or in private. wot ya reckon double d ?
why didnt head waiter stu (ashley) barker take the sarnies round at the quiz
alot better effort from brenda (norman collier)turner on the mike at the crown than at the wergs. practising in your bedroom is really paying off.
I think the previous "tree bummer" offering to lube up Dwyer's tits should come out.....or is just a smoke screen by a closet homosexual....More questions are mounting up....people are showing their true tendencies.....
I agree...Brendon done well at the crown on the mic....did I hear "all the 2's....22!"
Damn, you bloggers have been busy! maybe your not all computer illiterate after all.
I Asked the DJ Legend Jason Yorke for a few tips on the mike and he came throgh with the goods.
To Reference the point about Dwyers tits, it hadn't crossed my mind to lube them up but whatever floats your boat. (Gaylord!)
While we are on tits Neil Lee told me that its not the first time his name and moobs have been used in the same sentence. Apparantly he was fondled by a lesbian at Vee Festival, maybe we should have a BGO Wet t-shirt competition at the next fundraiser?
Which brings me on to the absence of Lee Vickers at the quiz night. I thought Vick was a man with cahoona's but obviously a bummer like German Ben Crout Scotsman Adam McShermer. Here boy walkies!!!
No one told me Senior Pro Wildman had arranged for waiting on staff at the quiz. I thought Stu (Our Ashley) Barker had come for an interview for a bar job.
If anyone sees Jacket holder Wacka apparantly he's had the jacket on since he won it! Tell him he's a F*ck*n W*nk**r! and buy some new clothes.
Oh yea and ask him if his Mrs knows he plays Golf. If he says yes ask him why he has got a golf clothes warderobe in the back of his work van.
Speaking of wardrobes, the RONFam appear is gathering pace another bag was dropped outside my house this morning. Contents included hat with fan and solar pannel, 2 pair of y-fronts and a deer costume!
I had a report that mr Potato head Mark Thomas was spotted in tipton shouting randomly, Cheeky Fiver! Cheeky Fiver! at people.
Id like to inform the committee, of a little comment by the legendary scholar himself Andy Shamir (not a typo). whilst playing a round on saturday morning his driving became a little eratic." I think i need a bigger head" he anounced " Too f**kn right you do" i kid you not this BLOKE should be on stage.
Tunass why am i referred to as MR Potato head? when i am by far the best looking bloke on the BGO tour?
I think we should also at this time of year with SPORT RELIEF in our headlines, be thinking of those less fortunate than ourselves.Those poor soles with no golf clothes, no clubs, not even a glove to call their own. please lads dig deep, find it in your hearts to support RONFAM. for less than a pint of beer, Ron Meese could look the bollox at the belfry, you know how much it would mean to all of us.
0n a final note CHEEKY FIVER ANYONE!
does anybody know the whereabouts of ben(hard langer) crout? been extracting the urine out of the sausage muncher all day with no response
BLOKES..............Rapid head movements and large pauses.Andy Sherma we salute you.
To be honest not sure why I’m even writing this message as “the bingo caller” Roller boots will more than likely delete it. Anyway moving on, comments about Andy Sherma’s head have been raised again, to be honest he does need a big head, but his driver is big enough. What we need to bear in mind is that over the past few weeks the “wind” has been stronger than normal; perhaps this could have been getting hold of his licks. Also the claims that Mark “coach (52 seater)” Thomas has been walking around his native home land (Tipton) shouting “cheeky fiver” I can confirm are true.
Rod, I’m still alive and kicking and I’m not ignoring you, in reference to the swindon membership fees I will have more details tomorrow pm, with costs. What it’s looking like at the moment is 200 pound joining fee, however 100 pound is put back on your bar card to spend in the club house, plus the cost of joining I believe 600 pounds although I will confirm. Could all people interested in joining Swindon please tell either myself or brendon, the more that join the better the deal.
Chris please don’t delete, edit function not delete.
blond
Mr Thomas, I am never suprised at any comment, quotes or banta that derive from the Little headed one. I concure with the comment that the man should be in stand-up! "Blokes.....If he was in stand up the laughs would be on us"
In reference to your point about being the best looking, I would have to disagree. Dave (div) Perceval has my vote after last weekends escapades if you need that seconding or further info speak to the ginger nuisance.
If recognition is what you are after, we love what you did to your hair, the highlights match your eyes! Bummer!!!
RONFam update: 1 pringle sock delivered 18/3/08. 23 days to go!
By the way congratulations to Jay the Croot not only has be learned to use his keyboard but he has voluntarily involved himself in a conversation.
thanx for reply ben (green keeper) kraut . your gaffer says you,ve made a lovely job of his lawns. did you use the old BGO jacket for your little chat? while he had his arm round ya!
does anybody know if ron gummidge meese is bringing out a new line of outfits for the forthcoming season
Questions,questions questions?
has Dvey got something stuck in his throat?
does Ben "JCB" crout have only shovels in his bag?
Has Jay been invited to the Belfry?
Has Wacka been dressing from Ronnie Meeses wardrobe?
Who was that chap playing with Bren & Tommo yesterday?
And can i remind all players that when accompannying Andy Shamir on the golf course to bring either a notebook and pen or a dictaphone as too many quotes are slipping through the net,
regards
ANON
Boys, I've just come across (pardon the pun) your fantastic web site. I am a 25 year old 8 inch cut male seaking some of this tree bumming expriences, can anyone join in, please your Gordon
Oh and i'm not racist so the one they call the little headed indian, i bet he's got a small tight mouth, the scotsman oooh i love a big scottish hairy ginger length, I also love blondes with beutiful blue eyes. I am also available to lube up the one they call Dwyer's tits at no charge.RONFAM i've got a lovely shiffon scarf (cerise) to donate to said cause.That Jay sounds like a right man's man.ps I can rollerskate as well so all angles are covered.
please RSVP.
Blokes
Just reading through some of the banta, quality, Flashes brother has some good banta "gay Gordon" it appears as though he has attached himself to certain members of the BGS. Indian Sharma has a tight mouth!!
Anyway, just a couple of questions need answering:
Yes, D'vey does have something stuck in his throat, possibly a bad taste.
Yes, I'm currently using shovels and spades to get round courses, although I did have my best round the other day whilst playing with Andy, shooting a respectable 96. I'll take those all day.
Is Jay Croot coming to the Belfry, Probably not if Bren has organized it, because for some reason Jay never get's an invite, hence the move to PENN and mention of the "click"
The bloke who played golf with us the other day, I have no idea, the only thing I can say is that he seem Scottish and a little bit Gay, perhaps "Gay Gordon’s" name was Gay McGordon, then he would stand a chance with the Scottish one.
All players with Andy Sherma need a dictaphone, as that would be some serious paper used to write all his comments down. Can I just say at this point I had the pleasure of the CHURCHILL Dog's company yesterday and I must say it did make my day.
Can I also say fair play to "DIV" for getting into Leanne whilst Ste "nuisance" Richards looked on not capable of a response due to BEER tokens. Can I just say at this point I'm surprised Ste didn't tell "DIV" to stand down, because what a lot of people will not know is that Ste "stand Down" Richards normally tells everyone to stand down from the women he's with, because he's small, ginger and insecure. What he doesn't realize is that the women actually want our help, as he wears them down and they end up giving in and having sex with him!!
On other business a rumor and I stress rumor, HOUSE has been involved with a woman. Could the right honorable HOUSE please comment on the above taking into account he’s got some KEYS and BALLY no longer has the CROWN / SKY TV?
Blond
Ooooooh Blond, 96 eh, that's close to a 69 big boy.
D'vey would have something stuck in his throat if i had my way!
Cheeky fiver it'll cost more than that !
Ill give £3.74 to the RONFAM out of my quality street tin that iv bin savin since christmas
hi there gordon you wouldn,t happen to be one of those nice boys who sit on each others laps at villa park?
Well actually, I've been known to sit on a few laps at the park but which one would be telling now wouldn't it.
Reading through this blog i think there's a few lads on here have done this also, come out lads and feel liberated.
p.s That Bren looks well fit in them Nike trousers, the way he sticks out his pert little arse, when he's just about to let rip can't wait for the next bgs. love Gordon
I think a dry bumming is coming your way son !Why doesn't any one leave their names so we can get to know each other, can any one play golf, because i would like to meet up, some of you guys are WELL FIT !!!
I thought you all lived around bradley so why do play at swindon it must take you hours to get there?
Where do I start? Jay the Croot, work life balance thats what its all about bloke! If you had a propa job like Ben, Thomo and myself you may also be able to play golf for £1.23per round and get midweek invites.
You might even get a job down at Swindon like your brother. When I arrived last week Blondie was nose deep in General Manager Simon's arse. Gay Gord you would have loved it! Shit everywhere!
I don't know what he did for Simon but blondie told me later that his membership had been reduced by £200quid. Must be good. how much did he say you had to pay Rod?
In answer to the question about the whereabouts of the old BGO Jacket. Blondie could not wear it as Ron (Gummidge) Meese has aquired it.
The News is that Blondie has cancelled the contractors for his house extension. He has decided to dig the footings himself with his pitching wedge and sand iron!
If that doesn't happen his brother Jay said he'll make a start cos he loves working and hasn't been invited to the Belfrey and ay got no mates to play with at his new club Penn.
On that note I have a few questions.
Who inflated Wacka's face?
Why does Andy Sharma wobble his head?
Does Gay Gordon chip or putt from the rough?
Can Roller Boots Rollerskate?
Is ginge bothered that Div took a slice of his carrot cake?
Does Gay gord know the difference between nike and Farah?
Does Thomo really look like Mr Potato Head?
Is blondie having Rod's pants down and a comission from his membership at swindon?
Too many questions man, right
1, Very bad photographer with shit camera.
2,it's the indian in him
3, Putt defo
4, NO
5, of course
6, I don't know about gord, but one's the bionic woman and the other is that swooshy thing that thommo gets his mrs to sew onto his clothes
7, yes
8, he should !
ps As defending jacket holder i'm a little upset that i'm only on the drop out list for the belfry !!!!!
yes gentleman i have indeed got a red face, and the only thing that got stuck in my throat was the 12 celebratory beverages i fired down me after winning at sapey. such a joy.... anyway whats this about house putting it about? and has everyone forgot im a member at swindon as well or should i just take the hint....by the way as i said to moppa about six years ago and he still reminds me. YOUR ALL A BUNCH OF WANKERS.....
wacka sorry son i was lead to believe your services are needed elsewhere on belfry day as a bouncy castle
Wacka its crooty if you want to play the Belfry you can have my place mate.Due to havin a real job with real comitments dont think i can play.Anyway still waitin for an invite from B.G.O. Brenass.Its tough being at the bottom of the pile.Cant wait to join penn.......
That wacka can use me as a bouncy castle any day !!!!!
he is the one with the lovely red cheeks isn't he ?
gordon is your nose keeping you in the dark?
Just a quick note this evening as i sit at home all alone, knowing that BGO Brenass has arrange to go out with all the other lads but failed to invite me(blondie)!! Just wanted to say thanks bummer.
Blondie
Blonde.
why are you all alone again? Has the mrs gone out on the lash with the lads.
Anyway me thinks you need to spend any spare time you may have down the range, they need a new bunker digging out!
I thought it was Jay Croot who was into earth excavation and you IT. obviousley from Big Jays comments on the blog and your new swing you've had a role reversal.
Now sufficient BGO proper members have dropped out of the Belfry, im now invited, great its nice to feel valued,
i shall pay my subscription in weekly installmants as my membership at swindon has gone up to pay for special deals negotiated by members to be left unnamed. Blonde,
afterall i know your struggling on your salary!!!!!!
need some cheeky fivers coming my way.
Tommo (best looking bloke on BGS)
Blonde, i can confirm , i am not Gay Gordon. although he has left a nasty taste in my mouth!
cheeky fiver?
lads, a few questions
1. will tunass be practising his speech before the belfry
2. will blonde play to his potential
3. has french man been having lessons
4. has woko got extra fat grips
5. will mark 'the shark' thomas continue in top form
6. has anyone seen the pic of 'the tits' gettin bummed by a tree?
I only have one question......WHO IS GAY GORDON?
ME!!!! Big boy
Who wants to know ?
Never mind whos Gay Gordon, Whos Anonymous?, he seems to be very busy on here.
Blonde all i can say is HES a f*kin W*nker!!! twice this week you av let me down, so you can go home to the MRS and she can go out on the lash..
its no good son, your swing has gone to shit and you am doing nothing to rectify it.
I am officially resigning as your coach!!!
Good news for GAY GORDON, if your interested in joining Swindon theres a 35% reduction for 25 year olds.
Also Gay Gordon , whats your favorite club, putter, driver, chipper.? and av you been invited to the Belfry? if so will you come out on the first tee?
Im sure there will be lots of boys who would like to meet you.
Anyway if any swindon boys fancy a game tommorow morning about 10- 10.30ish. get in touch.
cheeky fiver anyone?
I hear on the grapevine that Tipton Tatter Thomo has been uncontrolably shitting himself for the past two weeks.
I hear that he had to throw his pants away last week following a round at Swindon.
This raises a number of questions?
Has his bumhole gone in a little premature of the belfrey?
Does he want to be a ferral shitter like Sharma?
Is it a distraction for his fellow players?
Why didn't he use a swindon rule book to wipe his arse?
Do Sharma's one liners and unconcious stand up comedy make you lose bum control?
Maybe Thomo should see a doctor?
If anyone knows the song maybe you could add a line or two for Thomo.
"Some people think its funny when its all nice and runny,diarrhoea, diarrhoea."
"I was bumming up a tree and it trickled down my knee, diarrhoea, diarrhoea."
...................
"you don't have to strain, just sit and let it drain,diarrhoea, diarrhoea"
p.s thaks for the invite!
I can concur mate, having played swindon with him and the little headed indian saturday, following the round we went into the changing rooms where the tipton slasher legs it into trap number 2, me and said indian, washing hands,hears a massive thud and whoosh from trap 2, quote from indian" there aint a lot of that hit the water" Quality.
I was walking down the lane and felt a little pain, diarrhoea, diarrhoea!
mum wasnt in so i did it in the bin, diarrhoea, diarrhoea!
When you're goin' up to bat
and your pants are gettin' fat
Diarrhea, Diarrhea
When you're slidin' into first
and you feel somethin' burst
Diarrhea, Diarrhea
When you're slidin' into two
And your pants are filled with goo
Diarrhea, Diarrhea
When you're slidin' into third
And you feel a juicy turd
Diarrhea, Diarrhea
When you're slidin' into home
And your pants are filled with foam
Diarrhea, Diarrhea
When you're going down the hall
and you feel something fall
Diarrhea, Diarrhea
When you're climbing up a ladder
and you hear something splatter
Diarrhea, Diarrhea
When you're lying in the grass
and it's pouring out your arse
Diarrhea, Diarrhea
When you're driving in your Chevy
and your pants are getting heavy
Diarrhea, Diarrhea
When you hide behind a bush
and you feel a big squoosh
Diarrhea, Diarrhea
When you're leaning 'gainst a wall
and you feel something fall
Diarrhea, Diarrhea
When you're cleaning with a mop
and you hear a loud plop
Diarrhea, Diarrhea
When you're swimming in a pool
and you feel something cool
Diarrhea, Diarrhea
When you're with someone's daughter
and you feel that warm poo water
Diarrhea, Diarrhea
When your butt starts to fart
and then it 'splodes apart
Diarrhea, Diarrhea
When you're swimming in the ocean
and you hear a big explosion
Diarrhea, Diarrhea
Blokes
That Shit is priceless!
Quality
"I just chiped it out the sand and It landed on my hand, diarrhoea, diarrhoea"
more more!
Blokes,
Sit on the pot
And give it all you got!
Diarrhea, Diarrhea..uh uh
Some people think it's gross,
But it's really toast.
Diarrhea, Diarrhea....uh
When you smell somethin' funky
And your pants are feelin chunky,
Diarrhea, Diarrhea
When you're standin' in the shower
And you smell somethin sour,
Diarrhea, Diarrhea
When you're sittin' in a class,
And that fart let out more than gas,
Diarrhea, Diarrhea
When the cops are on your trail,
And you have a monkey tail,
Diarrhea, diarrhea
If you're sliding on a slide,
And you feel something glide,
Diarrhea! Diarrhea!
When you're working out
And you hear your ass shout,
Diarrhea! Diarrhea!
When you eat a Big Mac
And you feel something crack
Diarrhea! Diarrhea!
I was digging with a shovel
And I felt something bubble,
Diarrhea! Diarrhea!
You can tell
By the smell
That you ain't feelin' well !
Diarrhea!
In days of old
When knights were bold
And toilets weren't invented,
They left their load
Beside the road
And walked away contented
Here I sit, broken-hearted,
Paid a dime but only farted.
Yesterday I took a chance,
Saved a dime but shat my pants.
Here I sit all broken hearted,
Tried to shit but only farted!
Here I sit in a trance,
Tried to fart, but shit my pants!
Some come here to sit and think,
But I come here to shit and stink!
Please add more chaps
Blond
When you're running up the stairs it comes out yer* flares (OR FARAHS)
Diarrhoea Diarrhoea!
It comes down your legs like 2 sweaty eggs
Diarrhoea Diarrhoea
It comes out your bum like pedigree chum
Diarrhoea Diarrhoea
When you come into your home and your pants are full of foam
Diarrhoea Diarrhoea.
I was running in a race
and I felt some on my face
Diarrhoea Diarrhoea
It's thin, it's runny and it isn't very funny
Diarrhoea Diarrhoea.
It's thin and it's brown and can happen to a clown (or a shark!)
Diarrhoea Diarrhoea.
You can cook it in a pot, you can serve it while its hot
Diarrhoea Diarrhoea.
some good bloggin here blokes!
keep up the good work
BUZZ
Whats all this talk of shit.I know most of the players in the B.G.S.all talk aload of shit,my self excluded of coarse.Lookin forward to my round of golf at swindon on sunday ive actually had an invite from BRENNA the bummer.Any way lads i played himley last sunday and took only 41shots over 9 holes.Lads its par 36 just a warning for every one goin to the belfrey.Your all bummers
They say if you throw enough shit ,it will stick...this is a load of bollox ..ive been throwing shit everywhere and can confirm..none of it ay stuck...Ive only left the bog seat for a couple of cheeky fivers and am present writing this via my laptop sat on the bog!!!
if anyones interested ive been to the quacks.. he can confirm in his official capacity. i have got the shits? no shit sherlock. well actually yes lots of shit, everywhere.
does anyone know where i can get a mansize nappy?
anyone playing swindon with me in the upcoming weeks should remember to bring (a)roll of bog paper.(b)copy of the sun.(c)some sudacream for soothness.(d)a little sympathy.
If Gay Gordon want to take a look at this battered arseole, im sure he would turn straight.
anyway lads thanks for the kind words, the flowers, the fruit ( like i need any help ) you bunch of bastards.
cheeky fiver sunday?
Bloke
No problem in reference to toilet paper, the sun and sudacream(gay gordon can rub it in), sympathy on the other hand not a chance.
Anyway, it was suggested that a little light humour may put a smile back on one's face.
Oh and just for reference i'm writing this sitting on the chair in the living room, after just eatin a chincky, because i'm not sure if i've mentioned it but I'VE NOT GOT THE SHIT's
Catch ya sunday bloke
Blond
Who has made a donation to the RONFam Appeal?
RONFAM appeal,it all seems abit of a CON.Ron was seen last night down bilston on the lash,so money isnt the problem.I think that ron doesnt really give a flyin fuck what he looks like,because last night he looked like a fuckin vaigrant......CHAP CHAP CHAP.
nice one ron. keep up the sat night shuffle while doing the bilston boogie. the worst swinger in golf but the oldest swinger in town
Blokes
Saturday
I was lucky enough to have the pleasure of being invited to a birthday party on Saturday evening. At that Party was a gentleman by the name of Andy Sherma. Let me just tell you that this man’s talents do not stop at one line comments, oh no no no no. Andy Sherma is possibly one of the whites black men I have ever seen on the dance. I will try to paint the picture for you. I glanced over to see, an open colored, head nodding, face pulling, massive clapping, shoulder shrugging, feet a moving white gentleman going by the name of Sherma. Some of the dance moves were a little remonstrant of the Jackson 5, however when the Motown kicked in the Sherma turned it up a notch or 2 and came into the middle of the clapping circle, with what can only be described as MASSIVE, MASSIVE low claps, he was clapping that hard, it was hurting my hands, he did a turn or 2 and then moved back out of the circle.
Quality, Quality Night
S’devy, from yesterday’s performance son at Swindon, you need to get some practice in 5 off the tee on the 11th isn’t going to cut it come the 11th. I have faith though and I know you will turn up with you’re A game. Remember pressure is for tires.
Bren you’re a bummer
Chris just thought I would say hello since you have been ignoring us since you had your new job. Tunass can we pencil a talk in with Chris about work / life balance.
Blond
Questions .
where did Chap get those aviator sunglasses from? was it the RONFAM appeal basket?
Does Tunass stick his arse out, so blondie can blow smoke up it?
has gay gordon given me HIV, I feel so fuckin ill?
Can someone ask Mcshermers new wife!! if he can play golf a week on friday?
has Jay got a job?
Is everybody still in the matchplay event going to the Belfry? if so can we continue the comp there?I dont know how long i have left and need to get everything sorted before i go.
If you won a prize on a society event but you knew they had fucked up your handicap in your favour thus giving you more shots than you should have had. would you be able to look yourself in the fuckin mirror every morning.
Rob Fuckin Walker!!!!!!!!!!!
"Cheeky 2 quid?"
me thinks Gay Gordon nearly outed himself then?
Blonde im more 12 seater minibus at the moment,and my nose aint big, its in proportion to the rest of my head, ive just got a fucking big head!!
same goes for me mate the sherminator, he aint got a little head, just a massive body.
Rob "de bank" walker has fitted the trophy cabinet in the clubhouse today. its amazing what you can do with some old MFI wardrobes.hes negotiated free green fees for life and the next captaincy.he has no shame!!!!
ive had blood tests today, they're testing for TB,VD,BSE,IBS,YTS,HIV,CD,DVD,CJD,PC,IT,IQ,DQ,PMT,DVT,PMS,HRT,TLC,FAQ,BLUETONGUE,AVIAN FLU,FOOT & MOUTH,AND golfers elbow.
i shall be attempting to play a round wednesday afternoon, arseole permitting, if your interested tunass,blonde,jay(cant forget jay he gets all upset)+sherma.
cheeky fivers all round?
My my.....you bummers have been busy tearing shreds off each other! I love it.
I see the little Indian one is still a favorite target....the toilet episode with the accompanying songs was....well, Frankly SHIT!
Ben.... Yes, I have been absent from here but with regards to me ignoring you? When have you actually spoken to me? When waqs invited for a round with a cheeky fiver?......Hummm you see where I'm coming from...and yes I have been settling into a new position of employement and yes I have been issuing plenty of emails...PLENTY...Lol ps: as a foot note....My golf has fell off the shelf and is tumbling fast....Belfry will not be a very enjoyable experience if this is how I'm playing.
Roller Boots
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